How to Get Rich and Be Happy - A Contrarian Perspective
Can You Get Rich and Be Happy?
Spoiler alert: This isn’t your typical “10 Steps to Wealth and Happiness” kind of post. It’s a bit of a contrarian perspective, and you might find that it energizes you in a way that you didn’t know you needed. There is a lot of advice out there on how to get rich as fast as possible and ways to be happier than ever. There is also a profoundly personal perspective shift that has to happen in order to make any of it a reality.
What we will explore is a different perspective on what it means to be rich and happy. It’s about challenging the status quo, shifting your perspective, and embracing a unique journey that’s entirely your own. Brace yourself; it might not be what you expect, but if you try it, you might be surprised. Still with me? Let’s dive in.
Redefining Rich: Beyond Dollars and Cents
In a world obsessed with the pursuit of wealth, it’s easy to get caught up in the rat race to “get rich.” But why is it a race, and who’s keeping score anyway? Are there winners and losers in this race towards an ever-elusive finish line? What exactly is the finish line we’re racing towards?
Let’s pause for a moment and think about the concept of what it means to be “rich.”
This could mean accumulating a pile of money, living in a massive house with multiple high-end cars, or traveling the world and staying in luxurious resorts. Lots of money is an obvious and easy factor to consider as the only (or even primary) source of wealth. Could it mean something entirely different? It depends on who you ask.
Let me make a disclaimer and say this – there is nothing wrong with wanting a lot of money. Many of us do. What I’m getting at here is how much we let that take over our minds and how to maintain a healthy perspective while we work to achieve our dreams. Back to the content!
While the descriptions above might be how rich is defined for some. To others, it’s about cultivating a life that’s en”rich”ed by experiences – the kind of experiences that money can’t always buy. It could be a strong sense of community, cherished friendships, the peace of gardening, or even pursuing a passion like winemaking in your vineyard. Depending on what you value and prioritize, your definition of what it means to be rich and feel fulfilled will vary.
For example, I know people who make well over six figures who are very content with their lives. They realize that they are not willing to do what it would take to get to the “next level”. This doesn’t mean that they are lazy, don’t have ambition, or aren’t super wealthy. It means they understand what they value and what they need in their lives to be fulfilled.
There’s a whole lot of studies on this topic of the relationship between having more money and being happy. Some of that research shows that there is actually a steep increase in happiness with the rise of income, and then it plateaus. Have you heard the great wisdom of The Notorious B.I.G , “Mo’ money, mo’ problems’? Okay it’s a rap lyric, but it’s true! Money is only a single determinant of what it means to be rich.
Here’s an example: You wake up tomorrow and have more money than you know what to do with – you’re now rich in the sense of dollars. Amazing! Now what? Will you have a different mindset, or will you continue to think the same way? Would you be more generous, or would you still live from a mindset of scarcity and lack, even though you technically have more resources? Would you spend time with the same people if you bank account numbers were bigger?
People tend to think that the gain in money equates to equal gain in happiness. Money definitely helps, but there’s many more factors to consider. Here are several examples:
- The relationships around you – are they supportive and do they grow you, or are they jealous and unhealthy?
- How you spend your time – do you invest in others with your time, or do you just care about your own world?
- The habits you have – are you focused on having a positive impact on yourself and the world, or just yourself?
- Your practice of generosity – do you acknowledge how much you have and are willing to help others, or do you see everything through the lens of “not enough”?
Thoughts and actions result in moments that add up and result in how you spend your life. Yes, money is important in order to do many things, but it doesn’t need to be the only definition of rich.
Shifting the Paradigm on Happiness
Let’s break free from the notion that having wealth is solely determined by the balance in your bank account (for the defensive, I’m not saying this is bad. I’m offering a perspective that can exist simultaneously). While financial stability is essential, there’s more than one way to be rich. What about accumulating memories or crafting a life filled with meaningful experiences?
The “I’ll Be Happy When…” Fallacy
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when I have X”? And when you finally got X, did it bring the happiness you anticipated? Perhaps it did, and that’s fantastic. I hope it lasted, but have you ever achieved something and found yourself still wanting for more or for something different? This really comes down to contentment, or lack thereof.
Being rich and feeling rich can be very different realities. It can also be the same reality. You can be poor and feel wealthy, and you can have a lot of money and resources and feel poor. There is a huge perspective here that is key for everyone to help you live more energized and free.
Chasing money to be materially wealthy but lack contentment does not end the desire to constantly earn more. Money can’t fill that hole.
If you ask many millionaires, or even billionaires, some will tell you that after a certain threshold, the amount of money didn’t really matter. Many of them focused on their families, building communities, and philanthropy because it gave them meaning. Being content and fulfilled can exist whether you have a lot of material wealth or not. Either way, you can definitely want and earn more, just keep in mind that material wealth may not fill the hole you think it’ll fill.
This leads me to the other side of the coin – joy and happiness.
What Does It Mean to Be Happy?
Joy is an inner well-being, a sense of contentment and peace that exists despite external circumstances. In contrast, happiness is more fleeting and often depends on external events.
As an example, author Brene Brown shares how she felt genuine joy while grieving the loss of a friend. She still cried daily, yet also laughed and experienced moments of comfort. Her joy and sadness coexisted.
We can cultivate joy through inner work – things like gratitude, deep relationships, living our purpose, etc. Happiness blooms naturally from joy.
Carrying joy does not mean that there is a lack of challenge, pain, or trials in life. It means that, at times, choosing joy is required to express happiness.
This is a personal journey with different milestones along the way.
How we carry joy can impact way we define our goals and aspirations, and it can profoundly impact how we display our happiness externally. It’s about shifting our perspective and realizing that joy and the outward expression of happiness isn’t solely determined by external circumstances.
Allowing external circumstances to impact you constantly makes life satisfaction more of a roller coaster that steals the fun. Instead of gripping the handlebars, put your arms in the air and ride the ups and downs. Choose to laugh in the face of fear and challenge. It takes practice, but it’s not impossible. That’s why money cannot be the sole provider of joy and happiness.
People who surround you are going to help you lift your arms when you can’t. Going on those nature walks is going to help you breathe more deeply and lower the cortisol in your body. Writing in that gratitude journal every day even when you don’t feel like it is going to build new neural pathways in your brain for positive self talk instead of keeping you in the cycle of negativity.
Don’t let “I’ll Be Happy When…” takeover and steal the joy and happiness that you have right now. You might have to think about it, but it’s there, even if it’s one, teeny, tiny, thing.
The Journey of Getting and Staying Rich and Happy
Happiness isn’t a fixed state; it’s a dynamic journey. What brought you happiness as a child might not be the same as an adult, but that doesn’t mean happiness vanishes. It evolves. It’s about perspective – a sunny day might improve your mood, but if it’s freezing outside, will you still be unhappy? It depends on your perspective.
Joy, and happiness, is a choice. I’m not talking about ignoring very real and hard circumstances, and I’m not talking about walking around finding the silver lining in everything. I’m talking about choosing to carry joy through hard times. This might look different to everyone – it doesn’t mean faking that everything is okay. It means acknowledging challenges, tough situations, and moving through it with hope that it will improve. Yes, there are tactical things that you must do to move through tough times, but the attitude you carry whilst doing those things could completely change the experience.
Time is going to pass, and it will come with ups and downs. We can’t always control what happens, but we can control how we spend that time and our disposition towards it.
Once you shift your perspective around what it means to be rich where you are now (not necessarily where you want to be next), something magical happens – you start carrying yourself differently. You exude what’s in your heart, and your words and actions reflect what’s going on inside.
You can be happy and content with where you are now while you desire more. This could mean more material wealth, resources to travel, or a community that you feel deeply connected to.
Material wealth does not need to steal your contentment. The two can co-exist.
While personal growth and happiness are essential, we can’t deny the influence we have on others. We learn from those around us, whether they’re close friends or distant inspirations. In turn, we have impact on people we might not even realize. The way we carry ourselves matters, and it ripples through our interactions and relationships.
Sounds great in theory right? Here’s how you can implement this.
Tactical Takeaways for Your Journey
- Define Your ‘Rich’: Take time to reflect on what “rich” means to you. Is it about financial stability, enriching experiences, or meaningful relationships? Write it down, and remember not to judge yourself!
- Outline Daily Action: If you are not yet where you want to be in some area of your life that leads to your above definition, think about one thing you can practically and sustainability do each day to get 1% closer to it. It may not sound like much, but it compounds each day!
- Shift Your Perspective: Challenge yourself to shift your perspective on what contentment and richness looks like where you are now and where you want to be in the future. Think about how this brings you joy and how you can exude happiness despite anything external. Remember, it’s a dynamic journey. Embrace the changes and be open to change in different seasons of life. You can acknowledge challenge and still choose to carry joy through it. A few ways you can tangibly do this:
- Daily Gratitude: Write down a minimum of 1-3 things you’re grateful for each day (or leave a voice memo if that’s more your style).
- Limit Screen Time: Go do something, anything else, instead of sitting on your computer or phone. Go for a walk, read a book, call a friend. Experience more life in 3D and notice how it impacts you.
- Reframe Self-Talk: Practice a minimum of 3-5 affirmations to remind yourself of how awesome you are. Leave inspirational quotes or positive things that people you care about have said about you around your house.
Time to Be Rich and Be Happy
In a world where we’re bombarded with societal norms and external expectations, defining (or redefining) what rich means and what happiness looks like to you is a revolutionary act. Whether you’re new to this or have done it nearly a million times, you’re in the right place. Lean in, and keep going. Your journey still has so much for you, and it’s time to re-embrace it.
Build wealth beyond your bank account, focus on the things that truly matter to you instead of keeping up with the joneses, and feel happier as you start to activate the tactical takeaways above.
Practice 1-2 things daily to help you shift your perspective, cherish the richness of your current life as you continue to work towards your dreams, and let your joy and happiness spread the light in you.
What are you excited for next?